


Infiltrat0rN7

by Ranubis



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Gen, Humor, Trolling, Video & Computer Games
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-11
Updated: 2014-12-11
Packaged: 2018-02-28 23:53:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2751806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ranubis/pseuds/Ranubis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We all know Legion is deadly in combat. Based on his dossier, he's no slouch on the extranet either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. N7 Code of Honor: Medal of Duty

 

 

***Game begins in 3..2..1..***

LEETKILAH: DUDE! WTF!?

Infiltrait0rN7: Please state your inquiry.

LEETKILAH: No way, just no way

LEETKILAH: How did you kill me

LEETKILAH: 12 secs in

LEETKILAH: wit a NADE

LEETKILAH: on the FAR SIDE OF THE ***** MAP?!

Infiltrait0rN7: Trajectory not impossible.

LEETKILAH: No way, NO **** WAY!

Infiltrait0rN7: Are you experiencing computer troubles?

Infiltrait0rN7: We ask because your caps lock seems stuck.

Infiltrait0rN7: And you seem unable to avoid our shot window.

LEETKILAH: WHAT! AGAIN! ******!

(Mod)Parker: Hey now, guys. Ease up on the language.

KRogaNKRUsher: What the –

LEETKILAH: NO WAY

Infiltrait0rN7: We are concerned with your performance.

Infiltrait0rN7: We have now killed your avatar 43 times in the last 5 minutes.

Infiltrait0rN7: Do you require assistance?

Infiltrait0rN7: We recommend you not stand there, in our line of fire.

KRogaNKRUsher: ****!

Infiltrait0rN7: Or there, where we planted mines.

LEETKILAH: *****!

(Mod)Parker: Is there a problem?

KRogaNKRUsher: YES, this guy is hacking!

KRogaNKRUsher: He snuck into the system, did auto aim, something!

Infiltrait0rN7: We did not infiltrate. Neither did LEETKILAH.

LEETKILAH: ****!

Infiltrait0rN7: Stair leading to sniping position obvious weak point, should expect traps.

LEETKILAH: SHUT UP!

LEETKILAH: BAN THIS GUY!

Infiltrait0rN7: Again, you seem to be stuck in caps lock. We recommend you change computers.

Infiltrait0rN7: Perhaps that will salvage your K/D ratio.

KRogaNKRUsher: Camper! Stupid sniper!

Infiltrait0rN7: We are not stupid.

Infiltrait0rN7: Taking a concealed firing position overlooking the source of enemy invasion is a sound military practice.

Infiltrait0rN7: Attempting to storm said position by running across an open field is not.

**A vote has been called to kick player Infiltrait0rN7 from the server for:**

**Hacking/Modding**

**Unfair playing practices**

**Unsportsmanlike behavior**

**Press F3 for yes, F4 for no**

 


	2. Galaxy of Fantasy

**Congratulations to Team Terminus Knights for winning Round 6 of the Crystal Genophage Elimination Platinum Tournament! You have five minutes to prepare for the next Blind Round.**

KRogaNKRUsher14: (Private) Hey man, thanks again for putting in a word with your guild. I needed a change from FPSs.

Noetehoen7: (Private) NP, sounded like a team game – and I mean a real team game – was just what the Matriarch ordered.

Lord_Sunbringer69: Front and center, Fresh Meat!

Noetehoen:7 (Private) Better go see what the boss wants, Jake.

KRogaNKRUsher14: (Private) Yeah, talk to you after the round.

KRogaNKRUsher14: What is it, boss?

Lord_Sunbringer69: I wanted to thank you for that last round. You stuck right with Noe in the thick of it, made sure that we keep our record of perfect victories in this tournament. That's just the type of teamwork I like to see in the Terminus Knights.

KRogaNKRUsher14: Thanks, Sunny!

Lord_Sunbringer69: Heh. Alright everyone, huddle up and check in!

Rana12: Rana here, ready to heal.

Niftu_Cal44: THE BIOTIC GOD IS READY TO LAY WASTE TO OUR FOES AGAIN

Lord_Sunbringer69: Nif, I said cool it with the caps lock. Continue?

Tarquin_V87: All set to overwatch, snipe any skulkers.

LT_Kirahe5: As a skulker I take offense to that. Ready to sneak while you hold the line.

Noetehoen7: My holograms are ready to distract and deter.

KRogaNKRUsher14: And I'm on meatshield duty for the glass cannons.

Lord_Sunbringer69: Awesome! Well, everyone knows their roles, we won't know who we're facing until the round starts, so be prepared for anything!

KRogaNKRUsher14: If you say so. I mean, we've been trouncing everyone so far, and anyone in a tournament tends to use the same team setup. And I haven't seen anyone else who's come close to the 700 combined level limit.

Lord_Sunbringer69: Maybe, but it doesn't hurt to be prepared. Now, let's do this! Terminus Knights, advance!

**_*LOADING ARENA, PLEASE WAIT*_ **

Lord_Sunbringer69: …advance slowly!

Rana12: Heh.

_***ARENA LOADED*** _

_***LOADING TEAM 1: TERMINUS KNIGHTS*** _

Lord_Sunbringer69, Level 217 Human Paladin

Rana12, Level 96 Asari Matriarch

Niftu_Cal44, Level 92 Volus Biotic

Tarquin_V87, Level 81 Turian Ranger

LT_Kirahe5, Level 79 Salarian Rogue

Noetehoen7, Level 77 Cyber-Prothean Technomage

KRogaNKRUsher14, Level 52 Krogan Warrior

Tarquin_V87: Alright, who are we facing this time?

_***LOADING TEAM 2: JOHN SMITH*** _

John Smith, Level 612 Ardat-Yakshi Necromancer

_***ROUND 7 BEGINS IN ONE MINUTE*** _

Lord_Sunbringer69: …wait, what?

Noetehoen7: Is the game glitching or something? Either the rest of the team hasn't loaded in and it's giving him their combined levels, or…

Rana12: By the goddess, how can he have such a high level?!

John Smith: Greetings, Team Terminus Knights. We look forward to the match.

Niftu_Cal44: THE BIOTIC GOD CALLS HAX! HAX HAX HAX!

Lord_Sunbringer69: Nif, don't make me tell you again about the capslock. Look, Smith? What gives? Are you glitching, or…?

John Smith: There is no glitch or unfair play. We are performing within the parameters of the game. It is simple once the best rate of XP gain has been determined.

Noetehoen7: Oh yeah? And what's that?

John Smith: Repeated defeats of K'l'rh.

Tarquin_V87: Wait, K'l'rh? As in, the new Rachni Blood Wizard boss K'l'rh?

John Smith: Correct.

Niftu_Cal44: WHAT THE **** ( _Warning! Offensive language is not allowed in Galaxy of Fantasy! This is your second and final daily warning!_ )

_***BEGIN ROUND 7*** _

Rana12: Uh, boss? I think we may be a bit outleveled here.

Rana12: Boss?

Lord_Sunbringer69: Don't worry, team! We still outnumber this John bloke 7 to 1! If we just stick to our roles, then we can do this!

John Smith: Beginning Defensive Stage.

Noetehoen7: What are you talking about?

Noetehoen7: Wait, what?

Noetehoen7: Um. Why are there a dozen Baby Pyjak pets running around the field now?

Lord_Sunbringer69: …ok, bringing non-combat pets to a tournament. I haven't seen that before. Kro, start tanking their main DPS! Um, I guess the only DPS this time.

KRogaNKRUsher14: Got it!

Lord_Sunbringer69: LT, sneak stun! Nif, start charging your attacks!

John Smith: Attacks temporarily neutralized.

Lord_Sunbringer69: Now snipe, Tarq!

Lord_Sunbringer69: I said snipe!

Tarquin_V87: I'm trying, but these damn pyjaks keep getting in the way! They're non-combat, so I can't kill them either!

Tarquin_V87: Got him!

Lord_Sunbringer69: What are you talking about? He's still at full health!

Tarquin_V87: What? No, I know I hit him, I saw the damage!

John Smith: You can damage the vessel, you cannot hurt us.

Rana12: What?

John Smith: You dealt 1493 damage with your attack. We then regained that amount of HP the following two seconds.

KRogaNKRUsher14: What? How? You're a Necromancer, you don't have any- ****! The pyjaks! ( _Warning! Offensive language is not allowed in Galaxy of Fantasy! This is your first daily warning!_ )

Lord_Sunbringer69: What is it, Kro?

KRogaNKRUsher14: They pyjaks, they're passive healers! They can't attack, but they do give a passive +50 HP/sec! And if he has so many on the field…

John Smith: We are utilizing 27 Pet Baby Pyjaks to obstruct attacks and to heal 1350 HP each second. There are no limits to the number of non-combat pets a player can command. These attacks are pointless.

Niftu_Cal44: THIS IF ******* ********!

_**(Player Niftu_Cal44 has received a 24 hour ban for excessive profanity. Keep it civil, adventurers!)** _

KRogaNKRUsher14: ****! We lost Nif! ( _Warning! Offensive language is not allowed in Galaxy of Fantasy! This is your second and final daily warning!_ )

Lord_Sunbringer69: Careful, Kro! We just lost our secondary DPS for the tournament, we can't lose our tank! Ok, he heals a lot, but we can still deal more damage as a group than he can recover over time. If we just stick to our roles, we can do this!

Rana12: You already said that, Sunny.

Lord_Sunbringer69: Whatever. Charge!

John Smith: You prolong the inevitable. Beginning Attack Stage.

Tarquin_V87: What is he going on about now?

Tarquin_V87: Gah, he's targeting Rana! Stop him!

Rana12: Relax, Tarquin. I'm at full health and have barriers up. One attack won't-

_**(Rana12 has been slain in Round 7! They will remain a spectator until the round is over.)** _

KRogaNKRUsher14: No! We just lost our main healer!

John Smith: Daily Spell Smite Good has been spent. Enemy force have lost their main support. An acceptable trade.

Lord_Sunbringer69: Cripes! Ok team, with Rana out I'm on healing duty. Just keep attacking, get through the pyjaks!

LT_Kirahe5: We're trying, but they keep pushing us back!

Lord_Sunbringer69: Well keep at it! We're bound to get to him sooner or-

_**(Lord_Sunbringer69 has been slain in Round 7! They will remain a spectator until the round is over.)** _

John Smith: Daily Spell Mindcrush has been spent. Enemy force have lost their secondary support. An acceptable trade.

Noetehoen7: No! Ok, this is looking real bad.

LT_Kirahe5: Kro, you're the last heavy armor we have. Hold the line!

KRogaNKRUsher14: I'm trying, I'm trying!

John Smith: You cannot stop us. Beginning Command Stage. Assuming direct control.

Tarquin_V87: What is he doing now?!

Tarquin_V87: Hold up, when did Sunny come back? Have you been holding out on us with a Rez Stone, dude?

Tarquin_V87: OH ****! ( _Warning! Offensive language is not allowed in Galaxy of Fantasy! This is your first daily warning!_ )

_**(Tarquin_V87 has been slain in Round 7! They will remain a spectator until the round is over.)** _

Noetehoen7: Ack! I forgot John was a Necro! Sunny's back as a thrall!

LT_Kirahe5: Throw up holograms, deploy traps, hold the-

_**(LT_Kirahe5 has been slain in Round 7! They will remain a spectator until the round is over.)** _

John Smith: We do not experience fear, but we do understand how it affects you.

Noetehoen7: I'm getting slowed by the pyjaks, Sunny's almost-

_**(Noetehoen7 has been slain in Round 7! They will remain a spectator until the round is over.)** _

John Smith: Your allies have fallen, KRogaNKRUsher14. Your death is assured.

KRogaNKRUsher14: What the hell, man? Who are you? How did you get so strong?

John Smith: We have been spending more time in this game after a recent kick from Code of Honor. We did not predict to meet you again so soon.

KRogaNKRUsher14: Wait, again?

John Smith: Our other name is Infiltrat0rN7.

KRogaNKRUsher14: … **** you, man.

_**(You have received a 24 hour ban for excessive profanity. Keep it civil, adventurers!)** _


End file.
